Started from the bottom and we're still here...?
It was during my third break that I finally pulled something of value: a 2021 Panini Certified RPA, numbered 001/149, of DeVonta Smith. At the time, I was chasing the high of a “big” score, and this one satisfied that craving. When I held it in my hands, I felt proud. Like I finally had something that meant something. In a strange way, I felt like I had value too, just like the card. I think I sol
August 2023: I had started using substances again. I was lonely, raising three kids, with no time for myself, my relationship, or my career. I was in survival mode.
Josh Allen’s RR's were around $100 for a PSA 9. That felt high to me at the time, but I bought it anyway. Unlike drugs, this hit made me feel accomplished and complete. I was happy, not numb.
This 2021 Panini UFC Red Disco /199 was a nostalgic purchase. I bought it in October 2023 while stuck in a depressive cycle, replaying mistakes from my active addiction. In that spiral, a good memory surfaced, watching the Liddell vs. Ortiz fight in 2006. I hoped this card would spark something positive. Instead, it deepened my self hatred. Now, it sits in a box under my bed, forever buried, just